Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
