ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize