if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
