i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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