whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
