I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
God, you're like boner-b-gone
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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