made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
