Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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