Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize