Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
