i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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