I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
