It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
