You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize