Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
