these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
