69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize