It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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