I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
