Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
