At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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