I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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