Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
