Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
