i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
