What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
