My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
