just tell him i said nine months
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
