hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
