i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
