That's intense
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think people are normalizing furries
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
