I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
