Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
