i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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