Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
