the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
