I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
