spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
