After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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