So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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