Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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