Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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