I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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