All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
