I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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