spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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