your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Stop saving videos when youโre using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks Iโm into that
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