OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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