I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
