I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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