God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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