You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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