We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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