You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
