It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
