If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
