It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
You left your phone here
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