do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize