I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
