hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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