she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
