so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
we should paint friendship bongs
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