Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The beer is more important than you right now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
