What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize