i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
