would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
