And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
