His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
