I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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