I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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