I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
