I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
this hospital has no fireball
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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