Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
