Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
This beer is not sobering me up at all
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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