I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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