he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
