I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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