I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize