FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize