Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Randomize